theheartengineer

Memo to Adult Children of the Widowed

One of your parents died. It happens. When it does, the impact is personal and creates all kinds of challenges. How do I help my grieving parent, while I am grieving myself? How is my role different now as the child of a parent now alone? It’s all so complicated! Books can be written (andContinue reading “Memo to Adult Children of the Widowed”

I THINK A LOT ABOUT MARRIAGE NOW

(Reflections of a seasoned widower) I was nineteen years old when I said, “I do.” She was, too. What were we thinking? What did we know? Not much, but we knew, for sure, we wanted to be together. It worked, until it didn’t. Forty-one years later, after eight-plus years of decline due to Parkinson’s Disease,Continue reading “I THINK A LOT ABOUT MARRIAGE NOW”

I am NOT Single

I arrived for my vision care appointment. I am not a fan of digital check-in, but I did it anyway. When the screen appeared requesting my marital status, I mentally responded, “Are there actually that many options?” Of course, among the options were “Single,” “Married,” and “Widowed.” When I was 19 years old, one Wednesday night at the local park I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, “Yes!” Less than five months later weContinue reading “I am NOT Single”

COPE: GOAL #2

(This is the second in a series of three blogs about the widowhood journey.) The first realistic goal for a recently widowed person is survival (see previous blog). There is no need to think of coping if we do not choose to survive the loss of our spouse. Make no mistake, it is a choice. A friend’s FacebookContinue reading “COPE: GOAL #2”

SURVIVE: GOAL #1

(This is the first in a series of three blogs about the widowhood journey.) Overwhelmed. It can feel like you are drowning and you don’t have what it takes to keep your head above water. Despair. It can seem like there is no hope. Shock. This is not real. This can’t be happening. Numb. HeartbreakContinue reading “SURVIVE: GOAL #1”